Welcome, friends!
Well, with no further ado, I am joining
the blogosphere. The post here I actually wrote a couple days ago. But due to some technical indecision, I am just now able to officially post. But I'm going to go ahead and use it as written anyway.
Happy 4th of July!
Yesterday I was 20, today I am 21. As one of my final acts
as a 20-year-old, I set up this blog and drafted my first post. I’ve been
interested for a while, and thought this was a good moment for it. Also on my last
day of 20, I registered to take the MCAT. That’s the test that will more or
less determine if I can get into medical school in a couple years. That felt
big too. What else? I made horchata for the first time, from scratch. That’s a
sweet Mexican drink that I love. I gave tours of TCU campus and was reminded
(as I am every time) of how blessed I feel to be a student here. I topped it
off watching Rent, a musical that stirs me to belt. So overall it was a solid
final day of being 20.
There was a twist though. I started the day with a run. Just
a short one. But I didn’t take music and the whole time I was thinking about
how I’m turning 21, what that means, how long two decades is, my future, and other deeper-than-daily
thoughts. I felt I was getting pretty insightful on my run and thought maybe I
would put some of that into my blog, which I had already decided to set up. I
made sure to think about what exactly to do on my last day of being 20 as well.
Here’s the part of my day that I didn’t expect, however: I found out later on
that a friend from high school passed away the night before. That just doesn't happen very often, you know?
Now, I spent a lot of time with this girl in high school
because we shared interests, but I know there are many in my town closer to her
than I was, and feeling deeper grief than I can fathom right now. There truly
aren’t words. She was lovely and talented. And when I heard that news, I couldn’t
help thinking that if she had gone on a run that morning too, instead of planning
her last day of being some age, she was planning her last day of being. I do not mean
this to be morbid. I just mean to highlight the same resounding conviction we
feel every time death catches us off guard. We just don’t know which day will
be the last. How long will it take me to live like I truly understood what that
means? My lovely friend from high school was especially good at telling people
exactly how she felt about them. I remember specific conversations and letters
I got from her expressing kind words of appreciation and encouragement. I
always really admired her for that, and appreciate its value even more now.
I don’t have incredible wisdom to conclude with. I just know
that the news I heard yesterday put some things in perspective. Horchata
mattered less, my plans seemed childish, even the MCAT lost some of its
intimidation factor. Of course I want to continue to prepare for the future so
that I’ll have something to do if or when I get there. But I also just want to
treasure day one of being 21 as tightly as I treasure day 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and all
359 after that. They’re all just days I am blessed to live, who cares what age
I have anyway? (besides 21 and up establishments).
So friends, I do hope you have a wonderful holiday. America
is a very incredible place, despite the flaws. Enjoy this day!
Love,
Jenna.
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